


Don't Touch My Hair

by ilikeshipment



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4159488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikeshipment/pseuds/ilikeshipment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash has an erogenous zone in his hair and Tucker finds out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

               Wash sat on the blue side of base cleaning his weapons early one morning. The guns Chorus provided them were old and cheap, so regular maintenance was crucial. The other teammates were on duty right now, so he decided to take advantage of the peace and quiet and complete this mundane chore. That is, until he felt a presence behind him. Unnerved, he turned his head quickly to see just Caboose standing in the doorway. He relaxed and huffed out a laugh.

                “Hey, Caboose,” he said and then turned back around to continue working.

                “Hi, Washington!” Caboose replied. Then he walked into the room and plopped right down next to Wash. He took off his helmet and then just sat there and looked around the room.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with your lieutenants right now?” Wash asked.

“Oh, yeah. Simmons decided that all of our squads needed to run laps for their warm up,” he paused for a long moment. “I didn’t want to do that,” he finished. Wash just nodded. Caboose was easily the strongest physically of the four captains. He didn’t need to do laps right now.

“Gotcha.” But now Wash felt awkward so he ran his fingers through his hair and started to focus probably too much on his task. Caboose; however, was now staring at him and was mesmerized by Wash’s messed up hair. It was usually so neat. Without thinking, he brought his hand up and started playing with the hairs right on the crown of his head.

                Wash immediately stopped what he was doing and his eyes blew wide open. He may or may not have an erogenous zone in his hair and he also may or may not be trying to hide that fact from Tucker. Mostly because if Tucker found out, he would be putty in his hands every time and Tucker shouldn’t have that kind of power. But instead of Tucker, it was Caboose discovering his secret. He didn’t want this to be weird but he still _loved_ when people played with his hair and Jesus it’s been awhile and it felt _so good._

                _Aw, fuck it,_ he thought. _No one is here right now._ His eyes closed and he ducked his head and leaned into Caboose, who kept working his fingers. Wash was making little noises and practically _purring._ He still felt like it was weird, but he honestly couldn’t care less right now.

                “What the fuck is this??” he heard an all too familiar voice yell. _Fuck._

                “Oh. Hi, Tucker,” Caboose said. Tucker was bewildered.

                “What is he doing? How are you doing that?” Oh, shit. Wash didn’t want Tucker figuring out what was going on. So as soon as Caboose started to explain what he was doing with his fingers, Wash waved lamely at him and kind of made a “meehh” sound.

                “Well, that’s fucking weird,” Tucker said. “For once, the man can’t speak.” Wash just growled and finally mustered up the strength to throw Caboose’s hand off of him. He stood up to compose himself and before Tucker could touch his hair, his helmet was on.

                “I think you two should return to duty now,” and then he was gone.

 

But that wasn’t the end of Washington’s struggles.

                During one of the training shifts, he and Caboose were in charge (well, really it was more like Wash gave the orders and Caboose would just yell “Yeah!” as reinforcement). When Wash wanted to give a specific set of instructions, he let his guard down and took his helmet off so his words were clearer. Barely even one sentence into his instructions and he felt a hand in his hair.

                Laughing awkwardly, he grabbed Caboose’s writs and brought it down. “Not right now, Buddy. Okay?” He whispered. He looked back at the confused lieutenants, red in the face. He gave another awkward laugh and then continued his instruction with a weaker voice. In his peripheral vision, he saw teal armor walk away from the doorway.

                He knew he had to stay away from Tucker today, or at least wear his helmet around him. He knew Tucker would take advantage of this new information, and he wouldn’t hesitate to do it while on duty, too. He definitely tried to at least, but Wash kept his helmet on. In fact, Wash was avoiding Tucker so much that it actually made Tucker really pissed.

                About an hour after lunch, he ran through the training fields looking for Caboose. When he finally spotted him, he walked up to him and didn’t even breathe before he spoke. “What the hell is up with Wash?” he demanded.

                Caboose froze and looked down as he thought for a moment. Then he perked up when he remembered something. “Oh, yeah. He’s been avoiding you!” He said chirpy.

                Tucker was ready to explode now. “Why?” He asked, quieter. Caboose just shrugged.

                “I dunno, something about ergonomics,” he spoke as he skipped away. Tucker stood there dumbfounded and trying to decode what Caboose just said. Almost giving up, he turned and went to report to the training room.

                But in there, he saw Wash training a different group of soldiers. He smirked. If Wash was going to be a dick, he can be one right back.

                “Hey, David,” Tucker said, making his presence known. He caught Wash off mid-sentence, but he was too stunned to even finish it.

                “Uhhh, hello Captain Tucker,” he said, forcing professionalism even though everyone in the room knew they were a thing.

                Tucker ignored the muffled chuckles as he leaned on the wall next to Wash. “What’s up?” He asked.

                “Training,” was the reply he got through clenched teeth.

                “Huh. Listen, babe, how about later you and me go for a walk along the lake? The glowing looks so beautiful at night, you forget it’s from radiation.” He was almost upset he was wearing his helmet because his smirk game was strong.

                However, Wash was thanking every god in the book his helmet was on because he was sure his blush was visible from Blood Gulch. _Is he really trying to ask me out on a date in front of these soldiers??_ he thought. Ignoring Tucker, he snapped his head to the subordinates. “Go run laps.” No movement. “ _Now._ ” Then they were quick to run with speedy “yes, sirs.”

                Once they were out of earshot, he turned back to Tucker. “Lav, what the fuck?!”

                Tucker opted to play dumb. “What? I can’t ask my man out on a date?” He asked playfully.

                Choosing not to answer that, he asked, “What are you even trying to do?”

                “Well, if you can be a dick, so can I.”

                “What are you talking about??”

                “Let me play with your hairrrr,” Tucker whined. Then Wash froze and the blush returned.

                “What?” He asked softer.

                “You’ve been avoiding me all day,” Tucker said more seriously. “Let me play with your hair.”  He reached up to unhook part of his helmet, but Wash moved his head away.

                “I can’t deal with this right now,” he said, walking away.

                “But, babe!” Tucker called.

                “We’ll talk later,” Wash called, but Tucker could practically hear his smile, so he wasn’t too upset anymore.  

                Well, maybe a little.

 

                But they didn’t talk later. In fact, now they were in their room and Tucker was lying on the bed bored out of his mind while Wash was filling out some dumb report about the day’s progress and they definitely were not talking. Technically, writing that report was Tucker’s duty since he now outranked Wash, but he volunteered to do it. Mostly because he knew Tucker wouldn’t take it seriously and write things like, “I was sweating the whole day” or “Please, God, save me I’m so bored.” So Wash took over because he was that amazing of a boyfriend even though he was being a dumb one right now.

                Tucker watched Wash type away and was getting more and more annoyed with each little click. He threw down the tennis ball he was playing with with an _ugh._ Wash slowly stopped typing and looked over his shoulder at Tucker.

                “Something wrong?” He teased. Tucker just glared. “What?”

                “Get the fuck over here and sit the fuck down. I’m massaging your fucking head,” Tucker said firmly.

                Wash sighed out a “Fuck,” but he didn’t hesitate going over to Tucker. In fact, he basically threw himself onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Tucker’s neck and kissing him sloppily. He pulled back only to kiss him again with a little more dignity.

                Tucker pulled back to kiss his nose. “Turn around,” he said softly. So Wash did just that, turning so they were both sitting cross-legged with him in front. Tucker started with sliding the fingers of one hand from the base of Wash’s neck up to the top of his head. It was enough to give Wash chills. Then Tucker pulled at the hair a little and Wash just _melted._ His head hung lower and his whole body sunk down a little bit.

                Tucker chuckled. “That feel good?” He asked playfully. He was met with a lazy nod and a soft moan. Tucker pulled again and was presented with another moan. He smirked and brought his other hand up to start kneading at Wash’s scalp. Wash felt warmth spread through his whole body. Tucker’s fingers felt like absolute magic and it wasn’t long before he started to get hard.

                Tucker brought a hand down and started massaging the top of Wash’s neck, right where his hairline is. Wash decided that Tucker’s hands and the tightness in his pants was too much. With a huff, he swiftly turned around and grabbed Tucker’s face to kiss him. It was rough and felt almost angry. Tucker was a bit surprised, but gladly accepted. Wash pulled away and, breathing heavily, he said, “Fuck me.”

                It was speedy and frisky after that. Wash usually topped, but this time he was very quick to get on top of Tucker and ride him. He wasn’t too concerned with making it last long, but with making it feel as good as possible. Moving his hips just the right way, playing with his nipples, dirty talking. It was quite possibly the most exciting sex of Tucker’s life. Of course, he was the first one to come, but he couldn’t find it in himself to give a fuck. When Wash was close, he started sucking and biting at Tucker’s neck. He came with a yelp and then finally, slowly, pulled himself off of Tucker.

Wash laid next to Tucker and wrapped his arms around his torso while nuzzling the neck his mouth was just attacking.

“Fuck, dude,” Tucker laughed. “That was fantastic.”

Wash whined. Embarrassed, he hid his face further into Tucker’s neck. Tucker just kept going. “No, seriously, why haven’t I learned about this trick earlier?” Wash laughed a little, which then turned into a whine. He hit Tucker’s side playfully.

“Stop,” he said not completely serious.

“No way, dude. I’m definitely taking advantage of that.” Wash just laughed. He knew Tucker wouldn’t take advantage of him and he was just joking. Tucker was actually pretty careful and gentle. There’s a reason why he called himself a lover and not a fighter.


	2. Epilogue

Unfortunately secrets aren’t really kept well around the soldiers and soon everyone was saying to their buddies, “Did you know that Wash gets a boner when you touch his hair?”

Wash likes to think it started with Donut and his obsession with having perfect hair. Even when Donut takes off his helmet after a rigorous training session, his hair is still perfectly slicked and combed. He even passes on little tid-bits of hair wisdom to his teammates. He decided one fateful day that it was Wash’s turn to experience his hair “OCD.”

Wash was standing around and talking to the Reds. A completely innocent and unimportant conversation. Sarge was talking, or rather complaining, about the weaponry. Then Wash heard Donut interrupt with, “Hey, Wash, your hair is a little messed up in the back.”

And before Wash could say anything, there was a hand in his hair. Donut’s always had a little crush on Wash and definitely took advantage of his moment by “fixing” his hair for a _little_ bit toolong.

His face was bright red and his loose workout pants didn’t do much to hide his impressively growing boner. Donut took his hands down and Grif was cracking up.

“Dude, nice hard one! Is Donut finally _growing_ on you?” Then his laugh did that weird thing when it get completely silent and Simmons slapped his back to try to get him to stop.

Donut might have been slightly more embarrassed than Wash. _Might have._ But he couldn’t apologize because Wash was now yelling at them, making them swore they wouldn’t speak about this. _Ever._

But of course that’s the first thing Grif did and that’s the story of how Wash completely lost his reputation on the planet of Chorus.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to moosetashioedmonocle for the prompt<3


End file.
